RELENTLESS RADIO

 

Author:	Jerry Williams
Published:	August, 1998

 

Your job may be in peril. While there will always be a demand for great jocks (remember The WAVE, that LA experiment in jock-less radio of a few years back, which failed miserably?), great positions are going to be harder to come by. Consolidation, digital voice tracking capabilities (like Scott Studios), network and satellite delivery systems have already thrown scores of jocks out of jobs. And among those remaining the competition for fewer positions will get even more heated. (Program directors are in an even less secure position, but that's a topic for a future article.) What kind of jock will still be employed, and in increasing demand into the 21st century, and, perhaps even more importantly, what kind of jock are you?  Let's take a look at some jock types, and then see how you, regardless of which category or categories you fall into, can improve your chances of remaining gainfully employed in this wonderful industry of ours. A quick disclaimer, while I'll use the term guy throughout our discussion, there are plenty of examples of female jocks in each of these categories. THE VOICE GUY: Remember when David Letterman was on NBC? His announcer was Don Pardo. If you ever watched the show you may not remember Don's name, but you'll never forget his voice, rolling out that "...Daaaaaaaavvviiiiiiddd Letterrrrmaaan." Don also worked the old Saturday Night Live, "It's Saturday Night, with the Not Ready For Prime Time Players, Jooohhhnnn Beluuusshhii..." Don Pardo is a Voice Guy. Blessed with an incredible set of pipes, the Voice Guy is capable of deeper, richer, fuller vocal tones than we normal mortals ever thought imaginable. This is the one category that's nearly impossible to crack. If you're not born a Voice Guy, chances are you're never going to be a Voice Guy (though later in our discussion I'll give you a little tip on how to get the most out of the voice you were born with). A variation of Voice Guy is Boss Jock. This is the jock who's fallen in love with his voice, and is under the mistaken impression that everyone else has too.  Boss Jock goes to great lengths to engage in vocal acrobatics, giving more thought to how he says something than what it is he's actually saying. A lot of jocks slip into the Boss Jock category early in their careers, affecting a sort of reverse falsetto (would that be "bassetto"?) whenever they get near an open mic. You've heard these guys; after two syllables it's obvious that that's not his natural voice. No one speaks like that normally. You know it, his pd knows it, the listeners know it. But still he persists, because, "Heeey, this is Raaadio Land ladies and gentlemen!". I've had a few Voice Guy types on my air staffs over the years, and the biggest trap for that kind of jock (after that of becoming a Boss Jock) is that they come to rely so heavily on how good they sound that they're unable to say anything unless it's written out right in front of them. There are few things more pitiful than a great voice that doesn't know how to communicate. THE SHOCK JOCK: Not too many of these types in Christian radio. Though I have heard a few who affect elements typically associated with Shock Jock. They attempt to be "in your face, say the first thing that comes to mind and worry about the consequences later". Actually, that's what they'd like you to think. Usually the Christian pretenders to Shockdom are very calculating in what they say. After all, they believe, "People expect me to shock them." The prototypical Shock Jock is, of course, Howard Stern. Howard is perhaps the man most imitated by jocks all across the world (with the possible exception of David Letterman). Regardless of what you think of Howard's schtick, he's turned his brand of Shock into an industry, with movie, book, and TV deals to add to the millions who listen to his nationally syndicated morning show each week. THE ATTITUDE GUY: I'm not talking about a jock with a bad or negative attitude, this is not a put down guy. Attitude Guy is a little bit of a smart aleck, makes use of a fair amount of sarcasm, usually has his tongue planted firmly in his cheek, and never takes himself too seriously. This is the kind of jock who will call a pay phone on the air and try to get whoever answers to shake hands with 10 people on the street. Attitude Guy is David Letterman. THE SINCERE GUY: While Attitude Guy may take too little seriously, the potential danger for Sincere Guy is to take too much too seriously. He gushes over every issue, every topic, every point of view, to the point that people begin to wonder if any one person can be that genuinely concerned over that many things. The answer is, usually, no. THE SOAPBOX GUY: This is a jock with an issue to champion. Now, all of us have causes that we're sympathetic to. We may even mention them on the air when appropriate. But Soapbox Guy will hammer away at his issue, using his air shift as a bully pulpit, no matter how inappropriate the timing might be. His issue can be a legitimate one, like a favorite charity or corruption in city hall. Or it can be inane, the turkey buzzard should be the new state bird. Whatever the cause eventually his continuous harping on his issue will offend or bore away many of his listeners. An odd, and thankfully rare, hybrid is Sincere Soapbox Guy. This guy is usually, though not always, found in talk radio. Each day he has a new issue to beat his listeners over the head with. And each day he seems just as passionate about the new issue as he did about the topic the day before. If you can stomach Sincere Soapbox Guy long enough, you'll probably catch him championing mutually exclusive issues. One talk host out of Texas immediately springs to mind, but let's leave him nameless, why risk a law suit? THE HAPPY GUY: Happy is good. No one wants to to listen to someone who's always unhappy. But Happy Guy takes it to ridiculous extremes. He refuses to even acknowledge the unhappiness, the bad news, the unpleasantries of this world. THE I GUY: 97.36% of his sentences begin with "I". To I Guy, his own life is vastly more interesting than that of the common listener, and so he spends his time telling the listener all about himself, while never bothering to learn anything of the concerns of the listener. But I Guy will tell you that not only does he know the listener, but no one cares more for the listener than he. And then he'll prove it to you by telling a long, often rambling tale that centers around himself. When doing artist interviews, I Guy always reminds the artist, and the listener, of what good friends they are. And if he's never actually met the artist, I Guy will manage to intimate that he and the artist are really kindred spirits, and he'll prove it to the artist by telling a long, often rambling tale that centers around himself. I Guy's dream is a morning gig with Mr. Chuckles for a sidekick. MR. CHUCKLES: Almost always a sidekick or other supporting player, Mr. Chuckles appears to have no opinions of his own. His only apparent purpose is to parrot, agree with, and laugh at the witticisms of the lead player. Can you say "Ed McMahon"? THE COMMUNICATOR: This is the kind of jock who listeners form a real and lasting connection with. Communicator actually strives to understand his listeners. He respects them, because he sees himself not as someone special, or privileged, or enlightened; but as one of them. Just a guy trying to get through life following in the steps of Jesus. And because the listeners view him that way too, as one of their own, Communicator is able to challenge, and entertain, influence and, at times, cajole them. Above all, he encourages them. Do you see yourself anywhere in that list? While I may have left out a few types, (Emotional Guy, Hip Guy) most of your major sub-species are there.  Actually, I don't know of any jock who fits into just one category all the time (well, maybe that talk guy in Texas). The key is to recognize where you are now, where you want to be, and what it's going to take to get you there. The one type of jock who'll always be in demand is Communicator. That's not to say that the other types won't be working well into the next century; wherever you find I Guy, Mr. Chuckles won't be far behind. But the purpose of this article is to encourage you to be the very best. And in this instance, I gotta go with Communicator.

 

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